Real Weddings|31 January 2023
Welcome back brides! We know about how much you loved our blog in MayEmery Heuer's journey into body positivityshopping for her wedding dress, so we're excited to present the second part of our series about this beautiful Real Wife and her journey to loving herself on her wedding day! Keep scrolling for the best tipshow to practice self love for your wedding day, and be sure to sign up for our exclusive Maggie text messages for some expert bridal tips!
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Who is Emery Heuer and what does body positivity and self-love mean to her?
PC: Jenna Dailey
If you can't remember the beautiful Emery, she's one of our amazing onesReal Brideswhose journey in body positivity has inspired many in our Maggie family! Her journey through body dysmorphia, food culture, and negative self-talk led her to a life more focused on self-love as she neared her wedding date.
Since their wedding anniversary on October 20th in Medicine Lake, MNth,wear 2022Hattie Lane Lynette von Rebecca Ingram, she came up with a few more tips for our brides on how to practice self-love for their wedding day!
Read on to get to know your body and mind better with Emery.
Previously you talked about your journey towards body positivity and self-love. How has this journey evolved since we last featured you?
"The imperfect journey continues! It has really great days and also challenging ones. I try to soak up the great days of mental, emotional and physical health and really enjoy them.”
"When they're tough, I give myself a lot more grace, support and compassion. (I fondly remember that I tend to learn so much more about myself and my resilience when I'm being tested on a tough day). Of course, there are many strategies when I'm feeling down:
- First, I check in with myself by taking a step outside of myself. I look at myself like I'm looking at my best friend. How would I support my best friend during a difficult time? Would I scold her and speak cruelly to her? NEVER! So why are we doing this to ourselves?
- Second, I check in with my 'best friend'. I ask 'her' how much water has she drunk today? How did she sleep last night? What did she have to eat today (DID she eat today?! Because she should have eaten!)? What stressful things might she be going through in her life that are affecting her mental, physical, and emotional health?”
PC: Jenna Dailey
"I've found that it's so much easier to be kind to yourself and choose the best next action for yourself when you see yourself as the person you want to help as your best friend. I also remember there being some days when a mental health walk or extra water/rest/etc. won't completely fix the day or get me to 100%. But that's okay because not every day is going to feel 100%. If you only have 20% to give today and you've given 20%, then give 100%. Point. You gave 100%. It doesn't matter what happened yesterday or last week.”
“Personally, I love this — it allows me to wade through the tougher days with compassion for myself and learn how to practice self-love. I've found that when I have less compassion for myself, my eating disorder voice can creep in and have so much more power."
"I've also found that finding lots of self-love also taps into a lot of your deep emotions (for me, it was anger that dealing with crippling ED gave me) and not ignoring them or trying to hold them down. I have found healthy and safe ways to let go of challenging emotions. Be intentional - aim it straight back at the voice trying to drag you down, rather than those around you. I've heard a lot of angry music aimed at that voice. When a cruel thought arises, I tell it to back off before I let it sink in.”
"I reminded myself that hating my body (which always fuels me) benefits someone else to take care of myself! Whatever you feel, use it as consciously as possible. I still see a therapist weekly and she has been incredibly helpful with my recovery and the stresses of everyday life. I'm reminding myself that I'm worth taking care of, plain and simple. If there's a lot you can do to take care of yourself – just get back to basics!”
Planning your wedding is a very stressful time! What self-love and mental health exercises did you do on the way to your wedding anniversary?
PC: Jenna Dailey
“I listened to my gut feeling a lot. If it didn't feel good, I didn't! If you're planning a wedding, you know that much of your free time is devoted to planning and organizing. It's a side job! So I adjusted accordingly. I gave myself the freedom to skip anything unnecessary so I could have time for the things I needed to do!”
"I also made space for fun things - I painted and made different types of art to relax my brain and check the planning. I also wanted to make sure we were enjoying our last few months as a fiancee - so we made sure we had time to date and have fun. It was also important to me to regularly check my “own battery”. I made it a rule not to let my battery drop below 25%. I wasn't perfect at it, but more than not, it really helped me not to overwhelm myself leading up to our wedding."
"Last,I swore I wouldn't diet at all before the wedding. It would have been a recipe for disaster for me. In all honesty, I know that I ate so much more balanced food before the wedding because I wasn't trying to stick to an intense/restrictive diet (where severe starvation and binge eating would inevitably ensue). When I wanted to diet, I asked myself why I wanted to diet. I would constantly ask myself questions to get to deeper arguments. Didn't I think I wouldn't look good? What is MY definition of good? FEEL WELL was important to me! Plus, I knew I'd picked such a flattering dress—I was in good hands, wink wink. I KNOW that just intentional eating has helped me stay balanced and calm – especially during times when it was really stressful!”
Learning how to practice self-love is the number one bridal shopping tip in our opinion! For more expert wedding planning tips, though, be sure to read oursthe blog!
How have you involved your partner in practicing self-love?
PC: Jenna Dailey
Micah has always been a person I can be totally honest with (and vice versa), so a lot of self-love came from the fact that we both shared what we struggle with, and of course all the happy things too. We make sure we pay a lot of attention to each other's physical, mental, and emotional states. We've both learned that we can't always solve the other person's struggle (and that's not our job), but we can support them! It's amazing how much of a burden is lifted off your shoulders when you can just share what you're going through with someone who loves you.”
"I see it more like a boxing match - I might go 10 rounds with my eating disorder, stress or just going on myself, but when I can step back into my corner - Micah is always there, either as a trainer (advice) or a sweat wiper (listen and encourage). I like to visualize things and when I can see him in my corner telling me he knows I'm stronger than anything in the ring with me it gives me a boost to keep doing what I do have to to take care of myself.”
PC: Jenna Dailey
"Self love is taking care of yourself and when days are tough I lean on it. We both know that whatever situation we find ourselves in, we can count on the other person — even if we disagree.”
How did choosing your Maggie Sottero wedding dress help you learn to love yourself ahead of your wedding day?
"I know I mentioned it in my last post - but I love what the brand stands for! Maggie Sottero truly represents love and love for ALL.”
"It was important to me that Maggie Sottero has a mission to support all brides of all shapes and sizes. I picked a dress that I FELT great and I know it shows through in my photos (the happiness in many photos is second to none)! When I tried onHattie Lane LynetteAt my bridal appointment, I was immediately attracted to the flowing dress. It was exactly what I had hoped for. I remember someone saying how you FEEL in the dress is really important, so I just knew when I tried it on!”
“Overall, I felt good and comfortable in the dress! I'm the size that was perfect for my body and it fit me like a glove. I chose the dress for myself and no one else and I absolutely loved it. I can't wait to wear it for every anniversary (oh, and I will - believe me)!"
Did you take time to focus on your sanity as you got ready on your wedding day?
PC: Jenna Dailey
"Two weeks before my wedding, I had a little moment where I kind of panicked a bit... Thoughts like, 'What if I don't like the photos?', 'What if my body dysmorphia got the best of me that day has?' ran through my head. My body is different than it used to be and I wanted the photos to capture how I feel.”
"I've been thinking about how to prepare for this day and practice more self-love. I ended up calling my awesome photographer Jenna and asking if we could take some test shots a few days before the wedding so I could get comfortable with taking as many photos as I knew we were going to take. Jenna was amazing and made time in her schedule to take test photos together which was incredibly helpful for the wedding day because she knew exactly what I was up to! It made me so much more confident because we practiced together.”
Psst…Brides, if you think an extra session like this would be helpful to you, remember this is a service so be prepared to pay a little extra! For Emery, however, it was 100% worth the cost.
"I also made sure to go to bed earlier than usual the night before because I knew I was going to be so excited. When I woke up I meditated and gave myself time to relax. I allowed myself to just enjoy the day with all the people I love. The planning was complete, so I said to myself, "No need to worry!"
“We also had an incredible day with the coordinator named Savannah. It was insanely helpful to have someone leading the day so my loved ones and I could just be present and not have to worry about details. It was a HUGE help.”
„The day ended perfectly.I was just doing my best to enjoy and be in every moment as deeply as possible because they don't joke when they say it's fast! So Micah and I took a few moments for both of us throughout the day to soak it all in. It was so special.”
Finding time during wedding planning to improve your sanity is difficult, but absolutely necessary! For more mental wellness tips for your wedding day, check out ourthe blog!
What are some tips for brides-to-be to love themselves as they plan their wedding and prepare for their wedding day?
PC: Jenna Dailey
"Well, first of all, congratulations!! It's an exciting time! Enjoy being the fiancé during this time and lean into it, especially when the planning gets stressful! However, here are some of my top tips:”
- "Take care! Learning how to practice self-love is difficult, so take the time now to write down what that looks like. I reminded myself that there was nothing I could do if I didn't take care of myself first would. If you get off track, don't sweat and don't worry. Go back to basics; Look at your list of what it looks like when you take care of yourself. Do what you do and sometimes rest (a 20-30 minute nap works wonders) and a glass of water is best.”
- Take time for yourself and your fiancé when you're not talking about the wedding or planning anything for the big day. Do something nice together! I've always found it to be one of the best ways to feel calmer and happier. It also reminded me why we were planning a wedding in the first place.
- When the two of you talk about the wedding, figure out what you both want. We designed our wedding 100% the way we wanted it, which made it even more special for us.
- Skip the diets while planning your big day. I know it seems strange; We are programmed to diet for these big events in our lives! But diets just put your focus in the wrong place, and we know they don't work (and just leave us stressed, anxious, and completely unbalanced while we're on them). Focus on the good for your wedding day and skip the diet. Enjoy this time. You don't need to add unnecessary stress to your life. And if food is stressing you out, don't be afraid to ask for help! I've been there and asking for help is the best gift you can give yourself.
"Any bride will tell you - planning a wedding on top of your normal life is quite a balancing act! If you've never done it before, it can be very overwhelming. Take breaks, give yourself all the grace, love and compassion during this time, lean on your partner, ask for help if you need it! You have it! Sending you all my love and support as you prepare for your big day!”
We couldn't have said it best. Maggie Sottero stands for love and love for ALL and that includes love for yourself! If you want to share your wedding with us and inspire brides like Emery, leave a review of you in your wedding dress by clicking the button below!
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